To be an adult is to have the power to make decisions. To be a successful one, is to be one that makes good decisions. I believe that good decisions lead to good things, and bad decisions lead to bad things. It might not be immediate or blatantly obvious, but we definitely reap what we sow.
In my personal life, we have recently been battling over a very important decision. After many days of thinking, these are some of the pointers that have helped us clear the path to what we truly want to do.
- First, pray. Pray for peace and clarity. A lot in life is out of our control, and it is meant to be that way so we can lean and trust God.
- Think of what your values are. This doesn’t have to be deep or philosophical. Something like “I don’t eat meat so I won’t work at a barbecue restaurant” can guide you to understand what is important to you and what is reality in your life. Unless this is somewhat of a preference and not part of your core, you probably shouldn’t violate it.
- For sure, you need a cost-benefit analysis. In simpler terms, this is a pros and cons list. A few weeks ago I shared about the importance of writing things out to materialize our thoughts and get to the bottom of things. Having a list can help you organize what is truly required. You will more easily gain perspective and either think of or not forget key factors. Once you have this list, you can start measuring each of those items to understand how important each is to you. This will result in a rank that will clearly display what is non-negotiable (point 2).
- Talk to wise people in your life. We aren’t meant to live on our own, even if at times it feels that way or we just don’t want to bother. There is nothing new under the sun; others have already gone through what you are facing, or something similar, and can give you some tips. There might be people in your life that might not have been through that specific scenario but have been through other things that have taught them lessons that they can relay to you, and can help you make a more informed decision. It is good to ask the people in your inner circle as well as people who are wise but will not be affected by your decision. One might give you an opinion that will look out for you, and another might give you a more factual response. Nonetheless, it would be good to have different point of views from people who are trustworthy.
- Finally, what does your gut say? I am not one to lean into emotions for big decisions. At crucial moments in my life, I have had to review the facts to understand what I really had to do. If something doesn’t feel right, stop and take a breather. You might just need more time to have a change of mind or to gain a better view to understand the true issue.
It is not good to rush into things, specially when they can affect the course of your life. Take time to reflect on what the choices truly entail. Running to a yes or no will leave many pieces unturned and you might not want to have to face those responsibilities. I have learned that you need time to think because the layers of the onion are peeled slowly. You need to make sure that when you have gone on a path, you are at peace with going that way, so when challenges and opportunities pop up, you will be ready to face them.