It’s been a bit and I apologize.
Earlier this year, I was feeling stuffed up. I was mentally, emotionally, and physically tired. Everything was a repetition of itself, and like a hamster in a wheel, there was no way out. I then found out I was pregnant, which explained part of the exhaustion. Once I came out of that fog, I was going on automatic. I had a lot of projects to complete before the baby arrived. I relied on my habits to take me through it, and I don’t think I was as successful as I would’ve wanted to. Funny how one isn’t as reliable as one wishes one would be.
The months flew by and they were, without exaggeration, the busiest months we have had as a family. It was all good stuff, but it took all my availability. I lost the desire to try something new and just stuck with my rut. I wasn’t reading everyday, I was planning almost all my days and having maybe 50% of success, and the eating and spending were not within budget. I still commend myself for yearning to have and do less, and questioning continuously why wasn’t it so. I still did read, did try to hear what my stomach truly wanted, and did try to stick to the budget. I just didn’t do as well as I would’ve preferred.
Here I am, in the same boat. I wish I could tell you that I had all this insight from those months off continuous improvement, but I don’t. I was too busy prepping for the next stage of my life, and only tried not to be too bad. Now looking back, I think the one lesson to relearn is that life is a journey, not a destination. Even after I have created good habits, I need to keep feeding those and not give much way to my slack-y self. Note that feeding the right monster is the key. The other will die of starvation eventually, but in the meanwhile, it will dominate or linger in weakness. It is up to us.
Since the year isn’t over, and every new day is a new opportunity, I want to continue working on my scheduling and executing abilities. I unintentionally did this by selecting my “resolution” to be planning for tomorrow and reflecting on how the day went. My desire is to have a strong delineation between work and leisure, and have enough work done to warrant the amount of leisure I partake in. This will improve my focus, reduce my to-do list, and increase my efficiencies. So much can be done in so little time, but when our perspective is marred by laziness and exhaustion, our work does resemble an unmovable boulder. My reality is that there is a lot on my plate, and that isn’t changing. I just need to step up and work through it.
I can do it. If I can, you can too.