These last few weeks have brought more changes to our family than we could’ve expected, and the have been hard. They’ve pulled at the heartstrings pretty hard and have taken us through an emotional rollercoaster, again and again, which has made the process even tougher.
The phrase “I feel” seems to be at the center of all recent conversations. Because it has been an emotional time, it is just natural to succumb to what our heart is dictating, but we have realized how toxic it has been to live under that influence. It is key to understand your feelings. They can let you know if a limit has been trespassed or if a goal has been accomplished. They will give you an idea about people around you. They make life more colorful. However, they are not to take over your life, because they aren’t reliable. Feelings are fleeting: this morning you are sad and in the evening you feel like a million bucks. Today you love your bosses and tomorrow you can’t stand them. We wouldn’t be able to have anything if it were up to them!
Think about it. How many times have you woken up with no desire to attend to your responsibilities? Or what about the family events you didn’t want to participate in? Did you forget about when you were the one in a mood and didn’t want to put up with your friend who was going through something and needed you? Feelings aren’t stable so they cannot provide stability and we can’t ask them for that.
Here is where the truth comes. The truth is what it is. Two plus two will always equal four. Sometimes there might be an unknown variable so two plus x equals four but the statement still prevails.
The truth stands on its own and doesn’t change, so this is what we are to cling to, and have the strength and courage to believe it. There is a song I like that tells it this way:
“What’s true in the light, is true in the dark.”Weep With Me by Rend Collective
When we are high on a new car or a great friendship, or when we are down in the slumps over unaccomplished goals or hurting loved ones, we need to reach for the truth for clarity. Our feelings will want to play games with us and make us feel as if nothing can hurt us or as if everything sucks, but the truth will question it and give you perspective. Understanding the facts will help you update your standards and help you exist in more of a valley than a rocky trail.
The facts however, are not the only things we need to live by. Feelings come in to clarify our preferences and help us create an environment that is more pleasant to and healthy for us. The truth is that you need to exercise for your wellbeing, but your feelings tell you that an early wake up call won’t help you stay disciplined. The truth shows you that someone is polite, but your suspicious feelings help you keep some distance from the unknown person. One cannot live without the other because we are not robots and we are not waves to come and go.
Let’s create a habit to pause for our mind and our heart’s balance. Whenever our feelings want to take over, we should state the truth of the situation, and if we have the truth, ask ourselves how we feel about it. Allowing ourselves time to process will help us distinguish between the truth and our feelings, and give us more strength to move forward with the right attitude.