Wherein Lie Your Disappointments, Therein Lie Your Expectations

Hope, by definition, is a feeling of expecting something to happen. It helps us lift our heads from our today seeking for tomorrow, and fight to see a better day. Hope shows us that we don’t have everything under control, and that even after any work we may have put in, there is a part of us that is dependent on others’ decisions.

It is not always obvious when hope has crept into our space. Sometimes we have been so hurt and let down that we say hope doesn’t live here until the decision comes, and we are either ecstatic or broken. Disappointment is the shadow of hope when success didn’t make it to the party. You can’t have disappointment without hope and I wouldn’t think that humans can live without hope.

Blaming hope for our disappointments is like shooting our foot for causing us to trip; you won’t get any relief but actually more pain. Claiming to have no hope is living in a very dark and lonely world. Nonetheless, there are other paths. One way to reduce the possibility of disappointment is to reduce our expectations.

You see, we get disappointed because we had hope that our expectations would be met. We don’t always know what these expectations are until we are told that we cannot have what we wanted. Now what if we took time to understand what we really want?

What is it that you want it from:

• the relationship?
• your friend?
• your meal?
• your job?
• your pajamas?
• Friday night?
• your free time?

There is a possibility that you are disappointed because you didn’t plan to get the result you wanted. If you didn’t know what you wanted, it made sense that you didn’t plan, but just taking a few minutes will help curb the disappointment and help you work on what is important to you.

Another reason for disappointment is not appreciating what you already have. Your eyes might have been looking at the Jones’ house and vacations, and not enjoying the worth of your own home and the fun you have in your time off. You might not have taken into consideration other efforts you have accomplished or other challenges that you had to face and weather that the Jones’ didn’t and you underestimate what you have been able to achieve. Looking at your circumstances through binoculars will lead you to not take into consideration the whole scenario of your life.

Finally, sometimes we just have the wrong expectation. It isn’t possible to get blood from a turnip. Some situations we have to accept for what they are. I heard a character in a show say that he loves his father for who he is and forgives him for who he is not. Some things will not change, but we can change for the better.

Of course, I will always wish you the best and encourage you to fight for what you want. However, a good plan needs to acknowledge reality in order to change it and get the resources available to do it. Then, hope that it will all go well.