Just recently I had an expected disappointment. I thought that I was ready for it but when the rubber hit the road, I confirmed that I had hope for a different outcome. People around me supported me by letting me know how well I was doing and encouraging to continue in my path.
I struggled for some time because in the end I felt that I wasn’t enough. I felt that this put me in a lower class and even turned me into a loser. To an extent I was, because I lost something, but regardless of how I felt, I knew that this didn’t define me.
What I know for sure is that failure in life doesn’t make you a failure. Our value is not determined by something we did wrong or didn’t achieve. Those are things that we do, not things that we are. We continuously get confused and want to put a number on who we are based on tangible achievements: a degree, owning a house, marriage status, professional accomplishments; you get the gist. Yet that measurement system is flawed. There is nothing in the world that you’ve done by yourself, without the help or the opportunity already awaiting to be used. So what we are truly measuring is how far we got with the push or platform from others. We can do great things, but we can’t take all the credit.
I believe that regardless of where I am in life, I am valuable. I am cared by God in my every move, and in Him I have been able to develop and mature. I am grateful that I can recognize that who I am is not dependent on what I have, even though I might feel different. This is the battle between the heart and the mind, and what will help the truth win is the strength of our belief in it. If you think that you are dumb because you failed a test, even though you have had great success in other subjects or areas like cooking or fixing a car, you will stay in that mindset until you gain perspective of your reality. That one test is just one test. Even if it is a very important test, many variables come into it, like nervousness, preparation, or concentration. Something as simple as the AC in the room being dysfunctional and steering you away from your train of thought cannot be what pushes you into “success” or “failure.”
Taking a step back for perspective will help you gain the strength you need to believe the truth in your life, and not the lie a one-off will whisper. Definitely acknowledge the feelings and take the time you need to mourn your disappointment. As quickly as you can, look at the evidence that shows your courage for trying and/or regretting the misstep. Be thankful to God that you were able to see this and be strengthened to continue moving forward. This may not have been your chance but it gave you an opportunity to learn, hence it was not a total loss.