Why Do We Lie… to Ourselves?

Some weeks ago I wrote a post talking about a few lies that we repeatedly tell ourselves. As I was reviewing them, I noticed a pattern that made everything a lot more clear than mud.

We all have dreams and goals, and some of these we believe we can attain, some sound too far from our truth to even give them hope to bloom, and others we just think will magically happen one day, when we get our life together. This last type many times belongs to the category that can be reasonably attained today. We just don’t put the time and effort into them because we feel tired by our reality. The dream that can make our day-to-day better feels like a rock on our shoulders. We want to be weightless but don’t have any energy to fight.

Who said that we are fighting Goliath?

There it is. We think that we need to be as tall as Shaq and as strong as the Hulk to demolish this wall in front of us. In plain words: our thoughts are wrong.

When it comes to beating ourselves, we don’t need strength but consistency. Continuous droplets of water on a rock will eventually erode the compressed minerals and create a hole. Our expectations are mistaken. We are looking at life from the wrong side of the binoculars. One step forward is still closer to that goal than no step at all, no matter how small that step is!

Your drop matters. It has the power to create a waterfall.
Photo by Matt Antonioli on Unsplash

Some say that they need to see results to feel encouraged to keep on. The results they are looking for, expecting, might take a while. However, other results will appear.

  • Courage to try something new because the commitment is not as big as you thought
  • Hope that things can be as you wish them because you are moving forward
  • Curiosity to understand how things work in order to make them work
  • Discovery of things that attract you
  • Forgiveness for when moving forward is not easy
  • Strength to start again the next day

We would all be so much happier if we lowered our expectations from perfection to a smidge better than yesterday. It is understandable why we would believe that an overnight solution is very possible. Some seem to have been able to turn their life by a realization that set them free. Truthfully, what we see is the fruit of an effort that we weren’t aware of, so we consider it miraculous. There is a before picture, an after picture, but almost never a during, because the during can seem boring to show and not reveal excitement, when it is quite the contrary. The during is where our muscles are strengthened and more of us is liberated.

Following the immediate result-driven process, we also believe that once we arrive at this perfect form, we won’t struggle anymore. The goal is achieved and life is well. The truth is, that there is no throne for us to sit on and rest our laurels, for the most important aspect is the process, and not the goal. At this point we will just be stronger to more easily deal with the issues that attempted to drown us before. We now have more tools on our belt to continue chipping at the sculpture of our lives.

I nudge you to be real to yourself, and after, be kind to yourself. You don’t need to move your world overnight. One step toward your dream is a step closer to your new reality. It only takes one step, with kind glasses on.

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