Don’t Take it Personally…

I see myself as someone who likes to be involved with people. I am a natural introvert with outgoing tendencies. I love to spend time with others and cultivate a healthy relationship, where we support and provide feedback to each other. However, I run into the issue where I feel that most people don’t correspond the same way, which makes having friends during adulthood even harder.

How can I be a good friend or relative without stepping on peoples’ toes? Sometimes I was amazed by the actions of others whether I knew them or not. I completely understand that each action was their right, their decision. I never would even think that they had to come to me or need to consider my opinion. But why would she wear something the same color of her skin? Why would he not save some money? Both could be doing better.

Photo by Anton Darius on Unsplash

Why was it any of my business? Why do others need to come up to my standards?

Like I had stated before, I am looking into updating our home. My sister had sent me a video with some tips, and the host was showing a few more pounds than usual. She had shown a baby, and I decided that I had to support her as a fellow mom and not put her down. I made a comment to my sister about her weight and the mental path of support I took, and my sister agreed, and then said, “who cares if she doesn’t lose the weight?” Very true. Who cares? She’s not me and I am not her. It is her decision. This drove me down an interesting road.

I realized that the reason why I have struggled with balancing my care for people and their decisions is because I was holding them up to my standards. Whatever was important to me, whatever I thought was best, was what I believed others should do. Isn’t that what we all do? We hold others to our rules and beliefs, and expect them to live up to our every thought. We only see our logic in black and white, not leaving space for emotions, slip-ups, or free will. Once again, why does my opinion matter? To others, or at times, even to myself?

My thoughts and standards are not God’s. They aren’t universal. I don’t know it all, and I am just learning and trying my best at life. There is no need for me to burden myself with things that even the owners aren’t worried about. LET IT GO. There is no benefit in adding to our concerns list. There are so many more important things to think about and do.

Think of what we could do if we spent more time cutting people a break instead of sitting on our self-righteous throne dictating that they were wrong. I was able to change my attitude towards that lady out of camaraderie. I might not have something else in common with whoever passes me on the street but our humanity and need for freedom. I already know that I don’t need to agree with their point but respect it. I now know that I don’t need to spend time constructing an opinion about it either. I am here if you want me to, but in the meanwhile, I will keep my mind to myself.

When I might get a bit impressed by others, I remind myself not that it is none of my business, but that I shouldn’t take it personally. It shouldn’t be on my tab. The actions weren’t done to offend me, or even with me in mind. Let’s live freely and invest our time bettering ourselves so we can be better support for those in our lives.

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